I have this habit of torturing myself with things I want and actually need but can’t have right now, and it kinda sucks. I am pretty sure most people have this habit or something similar.
I know it won’t be for a couple years at least until I am able to afford photography equipment that will not only carry me through college but at least the start of my career. I wish I had the willpower to not go to all these online stores and actively seek out equipment I would like to have, just to start out, because I end up finding these crazy good deals on bundles that I just can’t invest in at this moment. I think this is more frustrating than anything, just because I want so badly to be able to have something, to be able to practice and develop my style before I start working on my photo degree, learn my strengths and weaknesses. And not to mention, it’s not even like it’s something I don’t need that I just want because it’s cool to have… it’s stuff I know I need for my career and stuff I know I could use now to be even better when the time comes that the quality of my photography would matter the most.
One of the most frustrating parts, I think, is just knowing that this has a small opportunity of opening up some job opportunities for me, really getting my foot in the door and being able to build a professional portfolio while in college and saving up for traveling. Not only would it be a job that I actually like, but it would be a step in the right direction toward my career.
How does one manage to not actively seek out what they do feel they need but cannot currently afford? Also, why must the struggle be oh, so real?
Sorry for today’s post being more ranty than anything. Like I said, I am just frustrated with a lot right now and my habits certainly do not help.