It feels like this last week or so has been a slow one, partially because my inspiration has been in a million other places. There’s been some research, lots of writing, along with work.
Last week when I was at the school to register, I also had to go talk to a counselor. We talked about my change in major along with my after-college plans and a few things she had said really got me thinking. She had asked what my family thought about me going off into the world and building my own career, since I’d mentioned my grandma earlier on in the conversation. She was curious because she has a granddaughter in her late teens who is planning to do something kind of similar.
The reason this got me thinking is because before that, I really didn’t stop to think about what my family thought. Not really. I mean, I’ve often stopped to wonder what they thought, if they really approved, but really… I feel unstoppable right now. I feel like the invincible feeling I have, the feeling that I can do anything, is partially because I’ve put so little thought into what they thought. I mean, I know my mom supports me 100% and she’s proud of me for going after what I want, and so is my best friend – even though it changed plans we had made before I decided to go after all these dreams I’ve had locked away since I was a kid.
Some people might think it’s selfish to not think about what I’m doing and how it affects those closest to me, but lately I find it oddly empowering, especially after realizing one of my aunts might be under the impression that this is all just a phase, that I’ll change my mind and the money I’m wanting to put into it won’t be worth it, even though it’s so clear how important this is to me. All the steps I’m taking aren’t steps I’d be taking if it wasn’t something I was 110% sure about. Everything I’m going now involve real decisions to ensure my future is everything I imagine it to be and more. Every dollar going into savings, every new friend I’m making, all the little pieces of advice I’m seeking from people who are where I hope to be in 5-10 years.
Just because this venture is new to them, something they never noticed I had interest in in the past, doesn’t mean it’s not real or that it’s just a phase, and it honestly kind of bothers me that the people closest to me think of it like that, rather than trusting my decisions and my instincts when it comes to my future and the things I want for it. I think that’s why I have just grown to not really care what others think. I’ve got a small handful of people who fully believe in me, including myself, and that’s all I really need to make everything possible. Not everyone is going to be as supportive as I’d like, I’ve accepted that hard truth months ago. In a way, that just makes it easier because it’s gonna be so awesome when I can finally prove them wrong.